#Forum-It: Issue 50

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comments.deviantart.com/18/169… [suggested by RandomRobskii]

DerpMan123: Please read the entire article.

It was just last month that I encountered a mugger.
He wanted me to give to him my wallet. I refused because I thought he was unarmed.
I thought I could handle him if he ever assaulted me. To my surprise he had with him a revolver and six bullets. He used it, point-blank. All of the six hit me. I survived.

Now I can't, just can't, bring myself to go outside. It scares me. The pavement, the people and the fear.

Its overwhelming.





Please I need to sort myself out.


P.S.

The bullets were thrown at me. All of them hit me of course.

kingmancheng:

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comments.deviantart.com/18/170…

Pinkmitten: God created humans so we can make pizza.

little-wild-one: I don't like pizza

Pinkmitten: Then you aren't human.

bubblymaika: What kind?

Goddammit I want pizza now

Pinkmitten: The regular stuff like extra cheese or vegetable toppings but NOT pineapple. You're going to hell if you like pineapple.

bubblymaika: Guess I'm going to hell then

Pinkmitten: God forbade us to make pineapple toppings, so you will suffer his wrath.
You'll be sliced with pineapple shaped disks to your neck.

NirvanaGenesis: I want pizza now.

Of course, I eat pizza just about every week so maybe I've had too much pizza?

Pinkmitten: You're a good follower.

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comments.deviantart.com/18/170… [suggested by CrimzonLogic]

senses--fail: MS paint porn. My friends, I believe we have hit a new low.

hippo-rim-job: No. Somewhere in the world there are two people in a dark room with a flashlight, performing shadow puppet porn.

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comments.deviantart.com/18/170…

Self-Epidemic: G-spot? You don't know what it is? its the area in the lady area that makes them orgasm

prosaix: he said he didn't want to know...

Self-Epidemic: Men must know these things! How else is he going to make a lady orgasm? 'less hes gay, but I told him where the mans one was too

Viskamiro: Most women can't even do it right and they let a damn man actually (re)name a region up their vag after himself. The male prostate should hereby be known as Lady's Sponge.

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comments.deviantart.com/18/170… [suggested by Lexie-Star]

Qihah: my dad said my fish 'ran away'.

fellenwort: fucking evolution

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comments.deviantart.com/18/170…

Kung-fu-girl90: Maybe they have over-reactive saliva glands?

mngamojemo: Yeah, but it also happens with other bodily fluids. In Japanese-influenced porn, the mouth and the male and female genitals produce more slime than a hagfish.

Kung-fu-girl90: This is anime physics/biology. They also sound like they're in pain. I honestly cannot tell the difference between an anime porn to an anime murder.

What I find creepy is that somehow, the Japanese-influenced male anus is able to produce it's own bodily fluid like female genitalia. I did not think that it was possible...

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comments.deviantart.com/18/170… [suggested by QuillandPaper]

Pinkmitten: I say Black because you have nice blue eyes and I feel the black would bring out your eyes more.
Once you go black, you never go black.

Pinkmitten: *BACK
LOL

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comments.deviantart.com/18/166…

Sting1: You're asking this question only because you are ugly.

Danium: You are answering this question only because you are ugly.

Sting1: I'm not ugly I have a beard.

Danium: Oh in that case.

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comments.deviantart.com/18/170… [suggested by Pinkmitten]

LadyJafaria: I read "someone else's dog" as "someone else's dong."

You really shouldn't beat someone else's DONG with a stick either, unless you're a dominatrix.

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comments.deviantart.com/18/168…

InternetJesus: I hate it when I get boners for no reason. What the fuck is that about?

sbkMulletMan: It's symbolic of the crucifixion. Why else would you be carrying a plank of wood around?

Pakaku: Sounds backwards, usually it's the plank of wood carrying Jesus around

sbkMulletMan: No, Jesus carries it first, then he gets nailed to it.

Pakaku: Jesus was born with a detached penis?

sbkMulletMan: Where else is the vacuum attachment going to go?

He also has a fire extinguishing anus. It's HANDI-JESUS!

Pakaku: Wow, Jesus just got a whole lot handier! How much do his services cost?!

sbkMulletMan: Your eternal soul.

It's kind of like the Handi-Satan, only it's pine-scented.

...Meanwhile, on the other side:

InternetSatan: Beats having a perpetual boner.

InternetJesus: I don't know, sneaky boners are worse in my opinion, you just never know when they're going to pop up.

InternetSatan: But my tent is always pitched. It just plain looks silly. At least sneaky boners go away eventually.

InternetJesus: You should see a doctor about that... to surgically remove it.

InternetSatan: Oh, fuck. Is that why it's turned green?

InternetJesus: It's too late. I'm sorry, you have Dickrot. Your dick will slowly recede into your body until it comes out your anus.

InternetSatan: What? Show me your medical credentials. I think you're just trying to mess with my brain.

InternetJesus: They're in my other pants.

InternetSatan: Were you being serious?

InternetJesus: Trust me, I'm a self-proclaimed genius.

InternetSatan: So am I and it grew back the last time that happened.

InternetJesus: That's because you didn't cauterize it! BURN YOUR DICK GODDAMNIT!

InternetSatan: What? I do that often enough already. That's not going to do shit other than turn me on. What kind of doctor are you?

InternetJesus: Have you tried NOT burning it? I think that might be the problem.

InternetSatan: It happens every time I fap. I can't help it. I just don't know my own strength sometimes. Is there any other way?

InternetJesus: Use lube to reduce friction, therefore less cock barbecue.

InternetSatan: What's lube?

InternetJesus: It's slang for "a hobo's asshole".

InternetSatan: Oh. Then bend over.

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